Going Equally Stubborn...

It was after around 4 IUIs we decided to go for IVF.

To reach here, It was a journey of an exactly one year. I could easily remember the day as our marriage was turning One the day we had planned the insertion of embryos.

After couple of IUI rounds, we always tried for an IVF. But my ovaries refused to respond even to the heavy pumping of pure hormones. Might just be their tendency and so we always ended up getting not more than 2-3 follicles.

Being a PCOD patient, my ovaries were producing follicles in great number every month but never could develop even few of those to mature as the number was huge. With hormone injections, we tried helping follicles to grow in the hope of getting a batch of at least 8-9 of matures follicles.

Along with injection, we also tried resting my ovaries with no medication at all for a month and few months on contraceptives so as to perform/respond better to hormone injections.

But somehow it never happened. We always ended up having maximum of 2-3 follicles, leading to IUI and not IVF. With no success, leaving me with a question, how do all 30Million sperms manage to miss 2-3 big eggs and find their ways around. Alas!

It was a cycle after resting for a month I guess. Ovaries were on injections. On our 2^nd scan, we found 4-5 with prominently bigger size than those smaller dots. I thought we saw a little progress. But on our 3^rd scan, we only could see 2 from that previous lot, growing and eating the share of rest all. We waited for couple of more days preserving the 2 that we already had and hoping few more to grow. We saw a little change in 3^rd one but it wasn't close to the mature stage even after these many injections.

And now it was our call. We only had 2. We had already tried IUI for 4 times. My ovaries showed their tendency to react to the doses of injections very consistently. Thereon Started believing my ovaries. Then I thought we may never get more follicles than 2-3. And IUI didn't look as an option any more.

In case of IVF, number of follicles is a crucial part. First, in case of more number of follicles, chances multiplies.

Second, in case of failure, patient just need to go through insertion of left over embryos (if any) than undergoing round of injections and then surgical procedure to remove the eggs, etc.

Third, (can be most important) is the cost.

In spite of all this knowledge, I quite doubted my stubborn ovaries that they'll ever perform to produce more than 2-3. And ultimately, we require minimum of one embryo. I was kind of convinced and so pushed for an IVF. Since the follicle count  was low we went for ICSI technique with IVF. In IVF, sperms and eggs are left in the container to mate on their own. While in case of ICSI, embryologist inserts the sperms in the egg without relying on eggs to mate on their own. Though the chances were dim, I personally never thought they were.

Date was decided. Course was given.

A round of injection the night before and I was set. Next day morning my mother in law made us go to a temple nearby. We, me and my husband prayed for the dim chances to go bright and arrived at the lab. My MiL was all amazed by the posters and magazines around especially the pictures demoing sperms inserting etc. :P.

That surely kept her engaged till my procedure was up. She almost read everything that was available their.

Nurses took me to OT. Like all the theatres this was also with different units, monitors and what not. It was chilling cold in there. And I guess that was my last memory.

After the procedure doctor met my husband and MiL. He said he successfully retrieved 2 eggs as per the plan. One looked good to him but other wasn't that good. With that my dim chances reduced by 50% further.

My anaesthesia wore out and after I resumed to all the activities on my own, I was discharged on the same day. I had kept my next 2 days free as according to the growth, we were to decide day and time for embryo insertion. There were pills and injections prescribed for those 2 days just to keep me occupied :P.

Next day afternoon, I got a call from clinic – growth is good and we may need to do the procedure a day earlier than we thought of. I almost jumped but controlled myself as half the procedure was yet to happen. Indeed, I was few stages closer but still far.

One day passed. I was waiting for a call from the clinic but it didn't ring. Finally I tried ringing my doctor during afternoon about the further updates. Doctor asked me to call in 10 minutes as he wanted to double check the progress.

I kept thinking what could it be. Is he checking for OT availability or ....

One should always be positive during the whole process but I was kind of getting sure that it didn't go well. But I refrained from thinking more unless I hear something from my doctor.

My phone rang. It was my doctor. He updated me about the growth that it was good till last night but nothing happened after that till today morning. And so he wanted to double check the growth.

All my chances were diminished though they weren't many to start with. We just took a chance. Tried our best but as my ovaries, my eggs also turned Equally Stubborn. Just refused to work.

I had a word with doctor the following morning to discuss if there was anything missing from my side and the plan further. Leaving to my doctor to figure out what went wrong, I was mentally prepared for coming cycles.

One failed IVF cycle gave me all new level of patience. Being equally stubborn as my ovaries and eggs, I patiently decided to fine tune my routine further. As I started with my treatment I was weighing normal but now it surely shows over weight on the scale. I decided to take active steps to shed few kgs, to go jogging every evening, to keep away from sugar and to go Equally Stubborn.

Yup. Overies, They are a part of you. They can't be tougher than you. Go Equally Stubborn or Even More to make them work :)